


The Life of Carzuichi Souda

by RarityIsMahFavorite



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: F/M, Moving in with Mikan, Souda does stupid stuff such as nearly killing himself, nearly killing Gundham
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7400821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RarityIsMahFavorite/pseuds/RarityIsMahFavorite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata even messed my name up... Anyway, I'm Kazuichi Souda, amuse yourself and my shitty life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pek-Pek

Ya know, I never realized my life sucked until now. 

Should I introduce myself? Well, I’m Kazuichi Souda. Souda with a u. Ultimate Mechanic. To clear up a common misconception about my appearance, I was born with shark teeth. Plain and simple.

So back to my life sucking, eh? Well it’s a long story. A story that begins with Miss Sonia’s birthday and ends with nearly dying of alcohol poisoning. A story that leads to SonDam getting married. A story that leads to me being in jail for ‘attempted murder’. A story that leads to Komaeda and Hinata doing stuff and I walk in. For now, let’s stick to the beginning.

____________________________________________________________________

I’m at Hinata and Komaeda’s house with Peko, Fuyuhiko, and Hinata.

“Sonia’s birthday is tomorrow,” Pek-Pek says. She tells me not to call her that, but I’m Kazuichi goddamn Souda, I can do what I want.

“Yeah, she’s turning 25.” Hinata says. “Any ideas for a gift?” Kuzuryuu rolls his eyes.

“Give her a occult book or some shit like that,” he briefly pulls out his flip-phone, looks at something, the puts it back. “I know I have one.” I smile.

“Miss Sonia deserves something amazing. Something like-” I start digging through my pockets, finally finding something. “This!”

A sparkling emerald necklace. 

“Wow Souda. A great gift.” Peko says. “Fit for Sonia Nevermind.” 

{My Life Starts sucking next Chapter}


	2. {In which I mess up and give my narration powers to Kazuichi} [And Akane's on the Lawn]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {So, I have to admit. I, Hajime Hinata, gave Kazuichi narration powers.}
> 
> [Meaning I can look at anybody whenever I want?]
> 
> {Yes. Perv your heart out.}
> 
> [Atleast I'm not Teruteru!]
> 
> {Fair enough}

Alright, Alright. I may have overslept and missed Sonia’s party. I know, I know. I missed the girl of my dream’s birthday. But I had good reason! Some lady hired me to fix her husband’s cars by tomorrow. 

That’s right. Cars. 4 of em too.

So right now, only Tanaka and Sonia are at her house. I’m sure she’ll appreciate her gift. So right now, her door’s open. Her house is littered with red cups and Akane passed out on the front lawn, and moaning.

Wait.

Why the fuck is the house filled with moaning? Is she on a date with Rosie Palms?

That’d be hot.

Her room. Sonia’d be in her room. I have my gift in my hands. The moaning is louder, and is now forming clear words. Keep walking Kazuichi. Don’t focus on a naked Son-

Goddammit.

Sonia’s room door is slightly ajar, just wide enough to peek into. 

 

………..

Well fuck my life. I never wanted to see Sonia fucking with Hamsterdance.

………

{It was at that moment Carzuichi knew, he needed to gtfo}

I drop the present in front of Sonia’s door, bolt outside and call her phone. It starts to ring, but a minute later Sonia’s voicemail message came through.

“Hello! I’m sorry I could not talk with you! Please leave a message, and have an enchanting day!” My voice clams up.

“H-Hey Sonia, sorry I didn’t come to your party, this crazy lady told me to fix 4 cars in one night! So I uh, left your gift in front of your door….. I totally did not see anything…. Yup…..” I’m Kazuichi goddamn Souda. I can do this.

“Uh, so I might have seen stuff…. With you and Hamsterdance- Gundam….. Yup… So uh…” I’m Kazuichi Souda. I can totally do this.

“If there’s a small thing of pink near your door it’s probably blood…” I’m Kazuichi Souda. I can’t do this.

“OkayifyouneedmeI’llbedrinkingbleachoralcohol,probablytheformer,seeya!” I press the end button, and collapse next to the Akane on the yard.

“I’m screwed.”

“Figured as much.” Akane’s muffled voice says. Akane was responsive all this time?

“Why are you out in Sonia’s lawn?” 

“I want food. Do you have any?”

“No.” I say. Akane lifts her head rom the grass.

“How long until you think Sonia’s going to notice that you are here?” Akane asks. I sit criss cross applesauce {Kazuichi’s secretly a 6th grader in a 24 year old’s body.},and prop my head up on a hand.

“I don’t know. I don’t care. I left her a voicemail.” Akane’s eyebrows raise slightly.

“What did you leave her?” Akane asks. 

“Hmmmm…. I may have saw something I shouldn’t have seen, but no problem.” 

Akane facepalms. “You walked in didn’t you?” I sigh, and reach up to grab the beanie that was my only friend for a few long years of my life.

“Yeah. Well, I’ll be leaving now.” 

_____________________________________________________

{So leaving Souda for a bit. Time for Sonia!}

My life story, my narration of Miss Sonia!

{...Fine. Make sure not to abuse your power}

[Alright, Alright.]

Something was amiss {really Souda?} in the most beautiful girl in the whole world’s home. She had just finished “important” business with Hamsterdance [whoops.] aka Gundam Tanaka, and was going to go freshen up when she sees it.

A small present in a navy blue box with a black bow and a tag. She carefully picks it up, and pales as she reads the name.

From Kazuichi Souda.

“G-Gundam, Kazuichi left a present…” Sonia smiles weakly. “How nice.”

Thoughts swarm Sonia’s mind. Did he see anything? Did he do anything? Had he told anyone? 

“G-Gundam?” Huh, it was odd for the Supreme Overlord of Ice to be asleep. Ah well.

{Don’t be a creep, Carzuichi}  
[Fine.]

Next order of business. Phone. Where was her phone? Oh right, she left it in the living room. She found it on her coffee table with one voicemail from Kazuichi Souda…..

Seemingly unfazed, she clicks to hear the voicemail.

““H-Hey Sonia, sorry I didn’t come to your party, this crazy lady told me to fix 4 cars in one night!” Not too bad. Poor Souda.

“So I uh, left your gift in front of your door….. I totally did not see anything…. Yup…..” Oh. So Kazuichi did see.

“Uh, so I might have seen stuff…. With you and Hamsterdance- Gundam….. Yup… So uh…” Okay, so this was awkward. Kazuichi, who has a crush on Sonia, saw ‘the thing’. At least it was with two people. 

“If there’s a small thing of pink near your door it’s probably blood…” Sonia shut her eyes tight and pauses it, thinking five words.

Gundam needs to hear this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, I'm a fast writer since (judging by my name) I wrote about 100 pony FanFictions, but not under this name. And that site had a 1,000 word limit, and this site doesn't! So, I'll probably have daily updates unless I can't, but hey! Judging by the 1 comment on the 250 words first chapter! So, He's Kazuchi godddamn Souda and more stupid stuff.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Carzuichi. More stupid shit.


End file.
